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“If your grandmother wouldn’t recognise it don’t eat too much of it.” This is one of the teen-speak gems on ‘It’s my turn to cook’ – an e-cookbook launched this week by Claire Gourley and her mum. It could be just the thing for a last minute Christmas present for that hard-to-buy-for teen. It has simple recipes, demos of the difficult bits, healthy eating tips and all the techno stuff that teens are into. Who knows… it might help them into the kitchen and out of the burger bar. As Claire says, “Fact: too much junk food gives you a big bum”!

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Flat out at work? No time to get into the Christmas mood? Wondering how you’ll make it through five more weeks of kids bickering and complaining? Wishing you drove a truck so you could ‘accidentally’ reverse into that rude car that just stole your car park? Counting the items in each person’s grocery basket as they go through the ‘maximum 12’ checkout? Grumpy? Frantic? Stressed? Try changing your wallpaper. Not in your home, on your computer.

I’ve found some neat Christmas wallpaper that is sure to put you in the Christmas mood each time you sit at the computer. That is, unless you have a serious case of pre-Christmas-itis. In that case I suggest sleep for 4 days. When you wake up, it will all be over!

End of year school reports can make for very entertaining reading. The teachers have to say positive things and, in some cases, this can take quite a bit of lateral thinking! Like the time our 5-year-old son ‘won’ the ‘player of the day’ award at rugby – for ‘enthusiastic orange eating’!

It’s the same with healthy eating messages. Nutritionists try to give people ideas about what they can eat, rather than what they can’t. The cardinal rule for words: avoid ‘avoid’ and don’t use ‘don’t’! It’s great when you find a website or blog that does this. There are plenty out there but I just have to tell you about Little Stomaks – a website that gives parents of toddlers lots of good ideas. I was flattered when they asked me to write a story for them and totally excited when I saw it appear on-line yesterday! Take a look if you have time…click their logo!

I’m on my way to the opening cocktail evening for the Food Writers Conference in Napier. The hotel lift opens at my floor and I stop, speechless, as Richie McCaw [current All Black captain] and a couple of his Canterbury Crusaders teammates smile nonchalantly out. No room for me – these boys are big! What am I doing wobbling off to eat and drink tonight? I should be in the gym chiselling my body like these amazing specimens. The momentary motivation passes as we enter the whitewashed historic Hawkes Bay Club, just a stone’s throw from our hotel.

“I’ve just walked into Brad Thorn’s stomach!” my friend Jenny from Beef and Lamb New Zealand says as we munch on large green Orcona jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese and sprinkled with smoked paprika. “Those boys are big!”