‘Better to live on the corner of a roof than with a nagging wife’

I can see more than a few blokes out there vigorously nodding their head in agreement at this proverb. I’m by no means the perfect wife but I have taken this proverb to heart and try really hard not to nag. There are so many things that us wives would like to nag our husbands about: help with the kids, help clean the house, go for a medical check, watch less sport on TV, come home early from work, help with the cooking…

Until a few weeks ago cooking in our home was solely a female job – apart from tea and toast which I greatly appreciated in bed on a lazy weekend. But that has all changed – without even one tiny nag.

When I first heard Professor Christine Thompson from the Department of Human Nutrition, Otago University tell us that eating just two Brazil nuts a day provides us with all the selenium we need, I was excited. So simple, so natural, so perfect for us New Zealanders who err on the side of selenium deficiency due to our selenium deficient soil.

So if a couple of Brazil nuts are good, more must be better, right? Wrong!! This is one food that we definitely DO NOT want to overdose on. Why?

First, we can get selenium poisoning. We need a little selenium – it acts as an anti-oxidant and has potential anti-cancer effects – but eat too much and it will build up in the body to toxic levels. If you’ve over-embraced the ‘Brazil nuts are good for you’ message and have noticed you’re fatigued, irritable, feel nauseous, have a horrible garlic breath even when you haven’t been near garlic or, horror of horrors, your nails look bad and brittle and you’re losing hair, chances are you’ve overdosed on selenium.

I don’t buy crisps and hardly ever feel like eating them but put me in front a bowl of them and I can’t help myself! It’s even worse with a glass of wine and a few friends around. The ambiance, the conversation… before I know it I’ve mindlessly gobbled up hundreds of kilojoules and a few good spoonfuls of fat. It’s all to do with proximity.

So if it works with crisps, why not vegetables? This is the question that researchers at Cornell University recently answered with a resounding YES. Move the salad bar so it’s more ‘in your face’ and the kids eat more salad. Such a simple move, and not a mention of 5-a-day, antioxidants or any other cleverly crafted health coercement (not sure if that is a word but it sounds good!)

But hold on, don’t us mums already do that at home? We innately understand proximity. We chop an extra carrot, a few extra vegetables and pop them in front of the kids to allay the pre-dinner whining. We chop up fruit and put it on the table – and it gets eaten. If we told our kids to go eat an apple or a carrot, they would hardly jump at the idea. But when it’s placed in front of them most kids gladly eat it – especially if there’s nothing else on offer. I’ve found it works with husbands too.

So before the researchers and big business spend any more millions on working out how to get kids to eat their food, perhaps they could leave work early and see how it’s done in their own home!

“See that manuka tree over there?” My father-in-law pointed to a lonely manuka by a small stream cutting through a horse paddock. “That’s where a cart fell on Te Kooiti’s leg and broke it. He died three days later. As a child my grandmother used to sit me down by that tree and tell me that story over and over again. I used to think: Oh no, not the same story again! Now I understand.”

For years my father-in-law, Haare Williams, has told us about how he grew up with his grandparents in a raupo hut on the side of a hill by the Ohiwa Harbour. They were given a strip of land where Te Kooiti, the famous Maori chief, was mortally wounded to be the kaitiaki (caretakers) of this historic, some would say, sacred spot.